Ladies, ever been on a blind date and realized he wasn’t really that into you? Been there, done that, got the receipts. Usually this is a result of poor target marketing. You simply did not date your audience.
What is Your Audience
Your audience consists of men that dig you. Like really dig you. You are the type of woman he always pictured himself with, his wet dream, his ideal. Men are not likely to settle physically. Either a woman gives him an erection or she doesn’t.
Who DF are You?
Dating takes some real introspection. You have to take a really hard look into the depth of your soul and discover who you are as a person. You have to know who you are before you can go after what you want. More importantly, you have to take a really hard look in the mirror. Use good lighting.
The purpose of the soulful introspection is to know what type of woman you are in a relationship? Are you a career driven super Type A dominant personality? Unless you are skilled in the fallback, a man just like you may be a problem. Essentially, there would be 2 dicks in the room and he is likely to see you more as competition than a partner. You may be better off with a bus driver or an electrician.
Do you go to 7AM church service, Wednesday Bible study, and teach Saturday Bible school? Cool, don’t date the dude that is popping bottles every Saturday night in VIP. It ain’t gonna work out. Trust me on this. He will just be coming in from the club with a pocket full of numbers and the beginning of a hang over while you’re brushing your teeth so you can get to church early to audition for the praise team. You two ain’t gonna make it. Instead, look inside the church.
But whoa, slow up. Don’t join the singles ministry with a bunch of single women and 5 guys looking for a beard. Instead, volunteer for the prison ministry where men are more likely to be. Date the volunteers, not the prisoners. Unless that is your thing, eww.
Looks Matter…sort of
I am not going to tell you to lose weight, gain weight, get a weave, go natural, learn Tae Kwon Do, etc You are who you are, and you are absolutely fine. But then who are you physically? This is a tough one for folks and it matters. Different types of men (sweeping generalization) like different types of women.
If you are a bigger girl, men in the southern part of America might be your crowd. My grandmother used to say, “The only thing that wants a bone is a dog”. You want to meet men that had grandmothers like that. Also, don’t sleep on the continent. African men seem to really prefer “healthy” women. Especially, if you are a lighter complexioned healthy girl. You are the best of both worlds for him.
I am single and I live in Europe. Being a dark skinned thick Black woman is not a big deal here and many men seem to prefer it. Europe is my audience. I went to South Africa and I don’t think I could get a man to piss on me if I were as engulfed in flames as Michael Jackson’s hair during that Pepsi commercial. Because of things like, ummm Apartheid and colonization, many men there prefer lighter skin. That’s cool. That’s not my room. Find your room. Date there. Rinse and repeat as needed.
I hear you saying, but I am a large girl, and I live in New York and I don’t want to have to look elsewhere. Cool. No argument from me. If what you are doing is working, disreguard this post, perhaps go back and chuckle at the memes before finishing up your wedding announcements with the fine but closeted choir director from church.
However, if you are a darker complexioned and chunky sister going to First Friday in St Louis and wondering why dudes ain’t checking for you, you may want to broaden your horizons. There are literally thousands of men out here that want to date you. They just may not live in your current zip or country code.
Happy Travelling and Dating!